My All-Ugly Team
Per C.Warren's request, here are my picks...
PG--Sam Cassell. As if there was anyone else that could go here. He's probably my pick for all-ugly MVP.
SG--Doug Christie. Plus, he raises his damn arm everytime the camera zooms in on him. Not just when he scores. If he dives for a loose ball out of bounds and the camera goes to him, his damn arm is in the air. And he's ugly as shit.
SF--Charlie Villaneuva. He might be a little out of position, but he can play the 3 and if I didn't put him on this team, I would lose what little credibility I have.
PF Popeye Jones : essentially Sloth from the Goonies (as a 6'10" black man)
C--Gheorghe Muresan. Probably the most unfortunate Romanian science experiment of all-time. Romania, in hopes of supplanting the U.S. atop the Olympic basketball throne in the early 1970s, conducting a science project where they mated a giraffe, two yetis, a 6'10 man and a 6'5" woman. Muresan was the result. In a related story, in the late 1970s, the Chinese would perform a similar project learning from the Romanians mistakes. This time, the result was Yao Ming.
Honestly, how unfortunate for old Gheorghe. You're born as one of the top 10 ugliest people of all time and then you turn out to be 7'7" tall. Now you can't even attempt to blend in. Luckily for us, Gheoghe's misfortune translated into a great cinematic classic: My Giant.
PG--Sam Cassell. As if there was anyone else that could go here. He's probably my pick for all-ugly MVP.
SG--Doug Christie. Plus, he raises his damn arm everytime the camera zooms in on him. Not just when he scores. If he dives for a loose ball out of bounds and the camera goes to him, his damn arm is in the air. And he's ugly as shit.
SF--Charlie Villaneuva. He might be a little out of position, but he can play the 3 and if I didn't put him on this team, I would lose what little credibility I have.
PF Popeye Jones : essentially Sloth from the Goonies (as a 6'10" black man)
C--Gheorghe Muresan. Probably the most unfortunate Romanian science experiment of all-time. Romania, in hopes of supplanting the U.S. atop the Olympic basketball throne in the early 1970s, conducting a science project where they mated a giraffe, two yetis, a 6'10 man and a 6'5" woman. Muresan was the result. In a related story, in the late 1970s, the Chinese would perform a similar project learning from the Romanians mistakes. This time, the result was Yao Ming.
Honestly, how unfortunate for old Gheorghe. You're born as one of the top 10 ugliest people of all time and then you turn out to be 7'7" tall. Now you can't even attempt to blend in. Luckily for us, Gheoghe's misfortune translated into a great cinematic classic: My Giant.
posted by belville at 2:41 PM
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